[PROF:]
Everything's a puzzle,
A myst'ry to me!
The shape of this toast, or
The taste of my tea!

Everything's a riddle;
A quand'ry to solve!
I'll best every test,
No matter what they involve!

We've got to use every clue;
Till we deduce the final key!
We've got to plan every move
Three steps ahead!

[LUKE:]
I don't think you can even do that…

[PROF:]
We've got to search every inch,
And do it mathematically!
Till we solve every riddle,
Colossal or little,
By fiddling with things methodically!

[LUKE:]
Professor, I don't see how this is a puzzle-

[PROF:]
Now now, Luke! Hop to it! That's what a gentleman does!

[LUKE (to the cat):]
Don't get used to this.

[PROF:]
Everything's a puzzle!
And all that I see
Awaits a solution
From someone like me!

Quantify this mayonnaise!
Finagle this cheese!
Triangulate pant-size
Of this underwear please!

[LUKE:]
Professor, that's well and good,
But really, have you lost your mind?
There are no puzzles to solve
Beneath a skirt…

[PROF:]
Quite astute of you!

We've got to crack every code,
Decipher every glyph we find!
There's no need for hints
With both our brains combined!

[LUKE:]
Professor-

[PROF:]
Everything's a puzzle!
I'm sure you'll agree
That everything's a puzzle
To me!

Everything's a puzzle
To tinker and tweak!
To dig in and dissect
The source of mystique!

Every new enigma
Proves veritably that
Everything's a puz-zle
To me!