He walked up my porch, shook my hand
Picked up my daughter, "yes sir" and "yes ma'am"
We shut the door, and my wife slapped me
She said, "He's a gentleman, why don't you look happy?"
I said, "Baby, it's so crazy you can't see"
'Cause I been that guy before and he only wants one thing

That boy's a loaded gun and he only wants some fun
Well, he ain't gonna get it from my little girl
I know boys and how they think, don't go acting like it's sweet
'Cause I can make it look like an accident for sure
She said, "One day, your little girl's gon' get married
You can't kill these boys", and I said, "Maybe not
But just keep the shovel ready"

I went in my garage and found the bench press
Could've thrown 250 up 'bout fourteen times
I paced the house, looked out the window
Till his truck pulled in at 11:59
Then he walked her to my door to get a kiss
But I swung the door wide open, scared him to death and it made me grin

'Cause that boy's a loaded gun and he only wants some fun
Well, he ain't gonna get it from my little girl
I know boys and how they think, don't go acting like it's sweet
'Cause I can make it look like an accident for sure
I know one day, your little girl's gon' get married
I can't kill these boys, no, maybe not
But I still keep the shovel ready

Five years later, they're in love and going on their honeymoon
He's growing on me but our family graveyard's still got extra room

'Cause that boy's a loaded gun, it ain't all about some fun
'Cause damn it, we're talking 'bout my little girl
I know boys and how they think, and it sure as hell ain't sweet
'Cause I can make you look like an accident for sure
Yeah, that day has come, my little girl's got married
I can't kill that boy, no, maybe not
But I still keep the shovel ready
I still keep the shovel ready