Anderson the snowflake was a hard-line Democrat
And he hates them boys in jacked up trucks with camo on their hats
Anderson the snowflake couldn't make the football team
So he set up shop at Starbucks and he blogged about his dreams
There must've been some soy milk in that coffee that he drank
'Cause you've never seen a little turd so offended and afraid

Oh, Anderson the snowflake made a great big protest sign
Full of angry words with big bold font and he held it up real high
The police came in told him he would have to go away
When he wouldn't leave they pumped him in the eyes with pepper spray

Oh, Anderson the snowflake cried all the way back home
'Cause this was the first time in his life somebody told him no
He won't support the president he won't support our troops
But no one cares 'cause Anderson is a full-blown man-bun douche

Oh, Anderson the snowflake was a hard-line Democrat
And he hates them boys in jacked up trucks with camo on their hats