[Sean Paul:]
I am Sean Paul I was big back in two-thousand three

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
How'd you get on my phone?

[Sean Paul:]
We used to date
Don't act like you do not know me

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
What?

[Sean Paul:]
So now in order to gain relevance with teens
I'm gonna ruin your new song with my singing

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
God no
I call my squad

[Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
Hey

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
Girls we got a problem

[Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
What?

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
Has-been Sean Paul
Is getting featured in our new hit pop song "Hair"

[Perrie Edwards:]
That can't be it's not fair no!

[Jade Thirlwall:]
Check out his pics

[Perrie Edwards:]
Can't believe you dated

[Jesy Nelson:]
There's just one thing to do now get wasted

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
This is like a nightmare

[Perrie Edwards:]
Hey look there
I just saw Sean Paul out there
I'm sure it was him I swear

[Jade Thirlwall:]
I don't see him anywhere

[Sean Paul:]
I hope they don't look down here

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
We're just another generic pop group
Created and managed by Simon Cowell

[Simon Cowell:]
My next cash cow cos One Direction sucks now

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
But good pop groups always have five members
We're just a low-budget Fifth Harmony
Like 98 Degrees was to NSYNC and Backstreet

[Perrie Edwards:]
Pizza guy's here!
OK

[Jade Thirlwall:]
Why did we order this many pizzas?

[Perrie Edwards:]
Hey it's Sean Paul
Ew get out you geezer!

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
This song's ours get lost!

[Sean Paul:]
Let Sean da Paul be involved

[Perrie Edwards:]
Maybe if we give ourselves haircuts
Sean Paul will not recognize us
And he'll get out our hair

[Jesy Nelson:]
I'll also cut down there

[Sean Paul:]
I have got to get in there
Get my hands on all their hair
And cover my head that's bare
So they'll think I am younger

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
Three of us look like perky teenagers

[Jesy Nelson:]
But I look like I'm at least forty-one

[Jade Thirlwall:]
Cos she's my mom

[Simon Cowell:]
Shh be quiet just act young!

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
Who are you?

[Sean Paul (in disguise):]
I am the electrician
I'm here to fix the electricity

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
Ew it is Sean P
Jerk get out of our song please!

[Sean Paul:]
Yo yo!

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
Leave us alone!

[Sean Paul:]
Why are you being such a hater?

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
You're trying to ruin our song!

[Sean Paul:]
No I'm in Jamaica
As you can see I'm in a tropical location
I'm definitely not just hiding in your kitchen
If someone's trying to get in your house it's not me

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock:]
Then who's the douchebag in my kitchen with a green screen?

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
That is the final straw you freak stop with the stalking!

[Sean Paul:]
Don't lock the door I just want your hair cos I'm balding

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
We've got to call the cops on that weirdo

[Officer:]
911?

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
This is an emergency
We need help please

[Officer:]
I am sending the police

[Officer:]
What seems to be the problem ladies?

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
Sean Paul broke in the house to steal our hair
Make him disappear!

[Officer:]
Where is he?

[Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Perrie Edwards, Jade Thirlwall, Jesy Nelson:]
He's in there

[Sean Paul:]
Sean Paul
So mi go so den
I stuck a your hair to a my head wit glue
Now I look like I am twenty-two
Can I now be in a dis vid wit you?