Make it like that famous country singer
Or that guy I saw last night on Jerry Springer
Clean me up but let me keep my edge
In the day I like to keep it dignified
But at night you know I got another side
And I don't give a damn cause I am what I am
Even if it's really really bad

I've got an Ape Drape, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
And then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do

Go ahead and buzz 'round the ears
I've been growing that one braid back there for years
I've had it since the first time I saw Queensryche
The front may conform to society
But the back says I have personality
Even if it's really really
Even if it's really really bad

I've got an Ape Drape, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
And then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do

Make it short in the front and long in the back [x10]

I've got an Ape Drape, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
And then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do

If the top's not short enough that it stands up
I could be thrown out of the Bad Boy Club
But don't you lay a finger on my pony tail
Now fix my kid up so he looks like me
And then matching crazy pants are all we need
Some may call it child abuse
I just call it bonding with your Dad

I've got an Ape Drape, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Riverside and get one too
And then you'll have an Ape Drape like I do

I've got a Norce Neck Warmer, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Norco and get one too
You'll have a Norce Neck Warmer like I do

I've got Hockey hair, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Canada and get one too
Then you'll have Hockey hair like I do

I've got Achey-Breaky Hair, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Nashville and get one too
You'll have Achey-Breaky hair like I do

I've got a Mullet, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Hoboken and get one too
And then you'll have a Mullet like I do

I've got Forbidden hair, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Europe and get one too
And then you'll have Forbidden hair like I do

I've got a Shom, yes I do
They're givin' them to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Florida and get one too
And then you'll have a Shom like I do