Frankie says that he's got vertigo
He says this everytime he leaves the pub, blotto
Backaches, bellyaches, earaches and migraines
Frankie's life is misery and full of aches n' pains

[Chorus:]
Frankie's got the blues
Frankie's neurotic
He's always feeling pig sick
Frankie's got the blues
You will have to excuse
Frankie's got the blues

Frankie sneezes once then goes to bed
"I've got double pneumonia" Frankie said
Frankie lives in the doctors surgery
Everytime he has a shave he waits in casualty

[Chorus]

"They say I am a hypercondriac", condriac condriac
"But I have got Yellow fever, that's a fact"
A blue bottle landed on Frankie's head, Frankie's head... Frankie's head
"Right, that's it, I've got Malaria I'll soon be dead"

[Chorus]