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A Musical Lyrics - Artist : Something Rotten! Cast
[Discussion of musicals and where they are performed]
[Nick:] What the hell are musicals? [Nostradamus:] It appears to be a play where the dialogue stops and the plot is conveyed through song [Nick:] Through song? [Nostradamus:] Yes [Nick:] Wait, wait, wait, so an actor is saying his lines and then, out of nowhere, he just starts singing? [Nostradamus:] Yes [Nick:] Well that is the Stupidest thing that I have ever heard You're doing a play, got something to say So you sing it? It's absurd Who on Earth is going to sit there While an actor breaks into song? What possible thought could the audience think Other than "this is horribly wrong?" [Nostradamus:] Remarkably, they won't think that [Nick:] Seriously? Why not? [Nostradamus:] Because It's... a... musical, a musical And nothing's as amazing as a musical With song and dance and sweet romance And happy endings happening by happenstance Bright lights, stage fights and a dazzling chorus You wanna be great, then you gotta create a musical [Nick:] I don't know, I find it hard to believe people would actually pay to see something like this [Nostradamus:] Let's just say it's a Saturday night And you wanna go out on the town Got a lady to flatter who might Give it up if you don't let her down You could go see a tragedy But that wouldn't be very fun Or a play from Greek mythology See a mother have sex with her son [Nick:] Eeeewww! [Nostradamus:] You could go see a drama With all of that trauma and pain Or go see something more relaxing And less taxing on the brain Go... see... a... musical, a musical A poppy piece releasing all your blues-icals Where crooners croon [Ensemble:] Ahh [Nostradamus:] A catchy tune And limber-legged ladies thrill you till you swoon Ooh's, ahh's, big applause And a standing ovation The future is bright if you could just write A musical Some make you happy Some make you sad Some are quite big Some quite small Some are too long Some are just plays with song [Ensemble:] Ahh [Nostradamus:] Some musicals have No talking at all [Nick:] No talking at all? [Nostradamus:] That's right, there's no talking All of the dialog is sung in a very dramatic fashion [Nick:] Um, really? [Nostradamus:] Yes, really [Nick:] There's no talk [Nostradamus:] There's no talking And they often stay on one note for a very long time So that when they change to a different note,...you notice And it's supposed to create a dramatic effect But mostly you just sit there asking yourself, "why aren't they talking?" [Nick:] Sounds miserable [Nostradamus:] I believe it's pronounced "misérables" [Nick:] And people actually like this? [Nostradamus:] No! They love it! And what's not to love? It's such a delight, there's nothing quite like a musical Ooh! Another vision! I haven't even told you the best part yet! Feel that fascinating rhythm Move into your feet [Nick:] Uh, what is that? [Nostradamus:] Feel your ass gyrating To that titillating beat [Nick:] Ooh, are you OK? [Nostradamus:] You slap your lap Then finger-snap That's when you know it's time to tap [Nick:] What the hell are you doing now? [Nostradamus:] It's called a dance break Apparently this happens in musicals as well People on stage just burst into spontaneous dance [Nick:] Why? Does it advance the plot? [Nostradamus:] No [Nick:] Advance character? [Nostradamus:] Not necessarily [Nick:] Then why do it? [Nostradamus:] Because it's entertaining 5-6-7-8! [Dance break] [Nostradamus:] Another vision! It's a musical What do you talk? What do you talk? It's a musical! A Seussical? No, a musical with girls on stage [Ensemble:] A musical [Nostradamus:] We've got snappy repartee And the women are risqué And the chorus boys are kinda gay [Ensemble:] A musical [Nostradamus:] A true, blue, new [Nostradamus |
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