When you borrow your father's car
Doesn't matter how old you
You don't ever drive too far
When you borrow your father's car

And when you drink at your mother's house
Have a couple, but don't get soused
You don't wanna play surrogate spouse with her
When you drink at your mother's house

You don't wanna make the old man boil
The jalopy needs a treatment royal
Play it safe every time and check the oil
You don't wanna make the old man boil

And when your kids come to spend the weekend
And more and more that is becoming the trend
Get rid of that new girlfriend till Monday
When you r kids come to send the weekend

And if napping on your ex's futon
You know that's not where you belong
When you notice some new stains thereon
When you're napping on your ex's futon

Because if you're traveling out of state
Don't forget to check the license plate
I mean the sticker expiration date
When you're traveling out of state