No need to get frightened, no need to get frantic
Up in the air, above the Atlantic
I flew out of New York not a minute too soon
I'm gonna read all about it in the Herald Tribune
I'm gonna read all about it in the Herald Tribune

Well, I disembarked on the fourth day of May
707 non-stop getaway
There was one thing, however, that I was givin' up
I was missin' the finals of the Stanley Cup
I was missin' the finals of the Stanley Cup

When your friends are fair weather
And you're prone to back stabs
You best become a door prize
Put yourself up for grabs
Put yourself up for grabs

Everyman's bound to try to escape
From his pillage and his plunder, from his murder and his rape
I'm what you might call a fanatical hockey fan
But it was time to hightail it - you know the end its at hand
High time to hightail it - you know the end is at hand

Well, I got to Great Britain - she's an ally for sure
They rolled out the red carpet - I got the policy open door
I shot through immigration and I whipped through customs too
I was collected in a limo, just like President Thieu
I was collected in a limo, just like President Thieu