Your mother's loose, your father's slim
She smothers you, you bother him
Passed back and forth between those two
Until they've had enough of you
Another bundle comes along
But by this time something's gone wrong
Awake all night deprived of sleep
It's overload they're in too deep then
She forgets to take a pill
Overload is overkill
What, what are families for?

He's at the wheel, she's at his side
Three kids in back out for a ride
Looking at houses, autumn leaves
Keep hope alive, try to believe
They haven't made a huge mistake
And what seemed real in fact is fake
Kids can't sit still, "are we there yet?"
He lights his seventh cigarette
"Almost," she says, "it won't be long
Look out the window, sing a song"
Singing what, what are families for?

You're the brother who is big
You were your parents' guinea pig
The first, the oldest and the best
Smarter, quicker than the rest
Your little sister's just a girl
So you can kick her from your world
You push your baby brother down
And grind his face into the ground
They do what you want them to
Because those two look up to you
What, what are families for?

Finally you leave the nest
Life was a quiz, now it's a test
You can't just live, a living's earned
So you use every trick you've learned
You cast off siblings, you make friends
Discover the receiving end
You swore you'd never be a dad
But that's what works, isn't that sad?
Young women want to mother you
You hate it but you want them to
What, what are families for?

All grown up, holding your own
You fend them off by telephone
You keep in touch, it's come to this
The furtive hug, suspicious kiss
Your sister's ensconced in your life
The archetype of an an ex-wife
For all that dirt he ate back then
Your brother figures you owe him now
Mom wants back all that Dad took
But Dad is dead, he's off the hook
What, what are families for?