Alright

Christmas everyone
And the fun has just begun
Soon Santa will be here
We've rehearsed this once or twice
And we know it won't be nice
But we really just don't care
We drank eggnog with the boys
And we talked about the toys
That we'd like to get all year
Can you imagine all the shit
We don't need but we could get
If we just kept the Santa here

Badababa, grab the chloroform and hide behind the Christmas tree
We'll do our best to make it easy peasy
Don't forget that Santa is immortal
And I bet those elves are packing heat, alright

Alright

We made ourselves a plan
And the world won't understand
But in this life we all want more
You can judge us if you like
But you ain't getting a new bike
When the bodies hit the floor
We'll keep him comfortable I swear
We can feed him his reindeer
Keep him healthy making toys
We're all aware this isn't fair
But we've chosen not to share
With the other girls and boys

Badababa, we thought it first we know you are just jealous
Of our dream you'd all attempt it if you could
We spent a year planning our atrocious little scheme
You spent yours being good

What do you mean he don't exist
That is a lie I must resist
Then who that fuck is leaving toys
For all the little girls and boys
You're telling me he isn't real
I can't deny the way I feel
It validates me
I don't accept the
Tooth fairy
Easter bunny
Jesus and Mary
Cher and Sonny
But not old fatty
That isn't funny
There goes my ticket
To making money
Hey