Attention!
The Santa Barbara film festival, screening of local films... is sold out!

Booo!
No way!
Boo!

The theatre is full
If you do not have a platinum pass, please move along

I can't afford a platinum pass
Man, you hardly let anybody in!
Yeah!

I repeat... If you do not have a platinum pass, you will not be getting into the theatre

I came from Buelton, man
I have been here for hours, sir!
Who made you in charge? That's what I wanna know!

I've got a megaphone!
Pointin' in your face
I've got a megaphone!
Cause I run the place
I've got a megaphone!
You're standing in the street
Admit defeat, cause you've got no seat

I'm the director's girlfriend!
And, you ain't getting in!
I'm an actor, I'm the star!
Sign an autograph on the way to your car!
I came from Goleta, man I'm kicked!
Back to your trailer, you dumbass hick!
I don't like the way we're being treated!
Let me repeat it: you've got no seat!

It's a megaphone!
And it's super loud
It's a megaphone!
And I'll disperse the crowd
It's a megaphone!
You're not getting past
No platinum pass, you can kiss my ass!

I bought a ticket, it cost 10 bucks!
You're shzzzt outta luck, go back to your truck!
My son's the director, I came from out of state!
Jerk should've bought you a laminate!
It was 4 o'clock when I got here
Thank you, come again next year
I am friends with Rodger, he and I are down
You and every bull in town!

It's a megaphone!
You didn't make the cut
It's a megaphone!
So I'm up your butt
With my megaphone!
You don't stand a chance
Now watch me dance in my tacky pants!

Ding dang a dang a dang a ding dong!
Lang dang a ding a dong ding a dong!
Ding dang a wang dang a ding dang!
Ding dang ding dang a dingally dang dang!
Wang dang a ding dang a ding dong!
Dong dong along a dang ding a dang!
Ding dang a ding dong a ding dang!
Wang dang ding dang a dingally dang dang!

Hey there ladies in the candy stand!
Megaphone, megaphone! He's our man!
You want some Reese's or Red Vines?
No I'm too busy shouting at these fools in line!

Megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I got a megaphone!
I've got a megaphone!
I've got a megaphone!
I've got a megaphone!
I've got a megaphone!
I've got a megaphone!