[Rebecca:]
What's a girl to do when she's stuck between men
It's like she's a barbie with two perfect kens
But wait, it just occurred to me
Maybe I can solve this with geometry
Yes, smarts can help this sitchywation untangle
So professors, teach me
The math of love triangles
Yay, time for book facts!

[Teachers:]
A triangle is a polygon
With three edges and three vertices
Take the base times the height, cut that in half
To find the area of the surfaces

[Rebecca:]
Uh-huh, I wasn't really listening, but I can see
The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me!

The math of love triangles
Isn't hard to learn

[Teachers:]
You're not taking in what we're saying
We're a little bit concerned

[Rebecca:]
Yes, the math of love triangles
Is as simple as can be
Whichever tom or dick I might pick
The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me!

[Teachers:]
Actually a triangle has multiple centers

This triangle's scalene

[Rebecca:]
That's astute
So I need to decide which man's more acute

[Teachers:]
Here's Pythagoras' theorem

[Rebecca:]
Will this help me choose?
If not I'll be swinging from a hypote-noose

[Teachers:]
Let's take a look at what this line bisects

[Rebecca:]
Is that spelled b-i-s-e-x?

[Teachers:]
Those are good puns but please pay attention

[Rebecca:]
Oh no, professors, am I facing suspension?
Whee, a swing! it's literal suspension!

The math of love triangles
Isn't hard to learn

[Teachers:]
We're starting to suspect
You don't sincerely want to know about triangles

[Rebecca:]
Yes, the math of love triangles
Is as simple as can be
I need to choose between men, but until then
The center of the triangle is lil' ol' me

Is this a triangle?

[Teachers:]
No, that's a shoe

[Rebecca:]
Is this a triangle?

[Teachers:]
No, that's you

[Rebecca:]
So I'm a triangle?

[Teachers:]
What? no

[Rebecca:]
One, two, three, six, eight, three, go!

[Matt:]
You don't seem to know how to count

[Scott:]
We are sincerely worried about you

[Rebecca:]
Catch me!

[Jeff:]
You're ruining the number!

[Teachers:]
This angle's right

[Rebecca:]
Which angle's right?

[Teachers:]
No, not right like correct

[Rebecca:]
Ooh, are you erect?

[Teachers:]
No, 90 degrees

[Rebecca:]
That's really erect!

The math of love triangles
Is super duper fun

[Teachers:]
We're tired of all your tangents
That's also a triangle pun

[Rebecca:]
Ooh, thanks for teaching me man math!
You all deserve a kiss

[Teachers:]
Lady, we're all gay
We get nothing out of this

[Rebecca:]
Neither man will notice
My learning disability
'Cause the center of the triangle
Is lil' old
Sexy little baby
Me!