[Rebecca:]
I just made a new buddy
He and I bonded right away
It was a piece of cake
With no emotional stakes
I got only good things to say
About my friend's dad
My friend's dad

It's all the fun of having a dad
Without the painful history

[Bob:]
She has fun

[Rebecca:]
And he's a literal drunk
But that don't bother me
'Cause he's not my dad
He's my friend's dad

It's the healthiest relationship I've had with a man
That fact I must confess
He doesn't push my buttons
Except the buttons on this cute dress

[Bob:]
Doot, doot, doot

[Rebecca:]
It's nothing but platonic
His bigotry's ironic

[Bob:]
I like you. You barely complain, for a Jewish

[Rebecca:]
Oh, you!

If we were related
We'd probably fight a lot
Wait, what about Jews?

[Bob:]
Here, have some more booze!

[Rebecca:]
What was I saying? Oh, well! I forgot
Glug glug! My friend's dad
My friend's dad

[Bob:]
And when she's not around
I think about her naked

[Rebecca:]
Huh?

[Bob:]
Nothing, kiddo

[Rebecca:]
My friend's dad!