[THE SQUIP:]
Take your hands out of your pockets
Arch your back, puff out your chest
Add some swagger to your gate or
You'll look like a mas-tur-ba-tor
Fix your posture, then the rest

[JEREMY:]
But I AM a masturbator..

[THE SQUIP:]
We'll fix that

All your nerdiness is ugly

[JEREMY:]
Nerd? I thought I was more of a geek, but..

[THE SQUIP:]
All your stammering's a chore

[JEREMY:]
Wh-wh-what?

[THE SQUIP:]
Your tics and fidgets are persistent
And your charm is non-existent
Fix your vibe, then fix some more

Buh

[JEREMY:]
Wha?

[THE SQUIP:]
Buh

[JEREMY:]
Wha?

[THE SQUIP:]
No

[JEREMY:]
Aah!

[THE SQUIP:]
Stop

Oh, everything about you is so terrible
Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die

[JEREMY:]
Jesus Christ...

[THE SQUIP:]
So don't freak out
And don't resist
And have no doubt
If I assist
You will
Be more chill

First thing's first, go buy a new shirt

[JEREMY:]
What?! What's wrong with my shirt..

[THE SQUIP:]
It's better if you just comply
My job's to color your aesthetic
And make you seem much less pathetic
Just step and fetch, don't ask me why

[JEREMY:]
How are you with math homework?

[THE SQUIP:]
I'm a super-computer, Jeremy. I'm made of math
Oh, everything about you is so terrible

[PEOPLE IN THE MALL:]
Everything about you sucks!
Everything about you sucks!

[THE SQUIP:]
Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die

[PEOPLE IN THE MALL:]
Everything about you sucks!
Everything about you sucks!

[THE SQUIP