I still remember that night. Sitting in silence hoping,
But I already knew you were gone.
Confirmation stabbed in me cracking out until all parts of me collapsed
And any semblance of hope turned to ash.
I can't count how many times I thought of following you,
Almost wishing each new wave of agony would finally push me to the end.
I know you'll never hear those messaged I left
But I still wish we could exchange words and laughs one more time.
Or that I could even hear your voice, your breath responding to mine.
There are so many things I wish I could say in that moment or the last time we spoke,
When I was really the last voice that you heard on this earth.
No one asks why we all saw the pain in your eyes
That you tried to hide with a smile, it was such a beautiful smile.

We never never believed in heaven.
But I still hope you are in that house by the Beach.
No, no more pain in this life.
You can rest now, but I miss you.

They said you looked so peaceful
And I don't know if I wish I could have seen you like that,
No struggle, no pain, you're unchained from this earth.
But all I can picture in my mind is an angel in the rope.

I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you.
I wanted you to be free from the tangles thorns.
I want to go back, back to a time
When our hearts beat as one.
In the end I can't accept
That I'm still here and you are not.