Hello Dan, it's Joe here
I hope you're keeping well
It's the 21st of December
Now they're ringing the last bell
If I get good behaviour
I'll be out of here by July
Won't you kiss my kids on Christmas day
Please don't let them cry for me

Brothers driving down from Queensland
Stella's flying in from the coast
They say it's gonna be a hundred degrees or more
But that won't stop the roast

Who's gonna make the gravy now?
I bet it won't taste the same

Just add flour, salt, a little red wine
And don't forget tomato sauce
For sweetness and that tang

Give my love to Angus and to Frank and Dolly
Tell 'em all I'm sorry I screwed up this time
Look after Rita, I'll be thinking of her
Early Christmas morning when I'm standing in line

I hear Mary's got a new boyfriend
I hope he can hold his own
Do you remember the last one? What was his name again?
Just a little too much cologne

And Roger, I'm gonna miss Roger
There's no one here I want to fight

Praise the Baby Jesus, have a Merry Christmas
I'm really gonna miss it, all the treasure and the trash
Later in the evening, I can just imagine
You'll put on The Smithies and push the tables back
And you'll dance with Rita, I know you really like her
Just don't hold her too close, please don't stab me in the back
I didn't mean to say that, it's just my mind it plays up
Multiplies each matter, turns imagination into fact

You know I love her badly, she's the one to save me
I'm gonna make some gravy, I'm gonna taste the fat
Tell her that I'm sorry, yeah I love her badly
Tell 'em all I'm sorry, kiss the sleepy children for me

You know one of these days, I'll be making gravy
I'll be making plenty, I'm gonna pay 'em all back
You know one of these days, I'll be making gravy
I'll be making plenty, I'm gonna pay 'em all back