Well, never put your hat on the bed, son
Never put your hat on the bed
'Cause if your hat's on the bed
You might wake up dead
So don't you never put your hat on the bed

But if you do, be sure it's upside down, son
If you do, be sure it's upside down
'Cause if there's any doubt
It keeps the luck from running out
So if you do, be sure it's upside down

I never throw a match when it's dry, son
Never throw a match when it's dry
Don't you never throw a match
'Cause the grass might catch
And burn three counties when it's dry

And always keep an edge on your knife, son
Always keep an edge on your knife
'Cause a good sharp edge
Is a man's best hedge
Against the vague uncertainties of life

Yes, a good sharp edge
Is a man's best hedge
Against the uncertain vagaries of life

But I never could sharpen no knife
Like the one who give the advice
Yodelay, yodelay, yodel

Well, never sell the old .22, son
Never sell the old .22
'Cause the old .22 shot a gopher or two
So don't you never sell the old .22

But aim it to the left, a little low, son
Aim it to the left, a little low
'Cause the old iron sight
Fires high and to the right
So aim it to the left, a little low

And always tip the glass when you pour, son
Always tip the glass when you pour
'Cause if you don't tip the glass
Then the foam, it comes fast
And runs from the table to the floor

But always keep an edge on your knife, son
Always keep an edge on your knife
'Cause the good sharp edge
Is a man's best hedge
Against the vague uncertainties of life

'Cause a good sharp edge
Is a man's best hedge
Against the uncertain vagaries of life

But I never could sharpen no knife
Like the one who give the advice
Yodelay, yodelay, yodel

Well, be sure to put your horse away dry, son
Be sure to put your horse away dry
'Cause the hot, wet horse
Ain't healthy of course
So be sure to put your horse away dry

And be sure to thaw the bit when it's cold, son
Be sure to thaw the bit when it's cold
'Cause if you don't thaw the bit
Then your pony's tongue sticks
To the frozen metal bridle when it's cold

I never judge a man by his clothes, son
Never judge a man by his clothes
You gotta look through the dirt
And Lord, judge him by his work
So don't you never judge a man by his clothes

And always keep an edge on your knife, son
Always keep an edge on your knife
'Cause a good sharp edge
Is a man's best hedge
Against the vague uncertainties of life

Yes, a good sharp edge
Is a man's best hedge
Against the uncertain vagaries of life

But I never could sharpen no knife
Like the one who give the advice
Yodelay, yodelay, yodel

And I never could sharpen no blade
Quite the way he say
Yodelay, yodelay, yodel

Yodelay, yodelay, yodelay, yodelay, yodel-oh