Well, it was all
That I could do to keep from crying'
Sometimes it seemed so useless to remain
But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even call me by my name

You don't have to call me Waylon Jennings
And you don't have to call me Charlie pride
And you don't have to call me Merle Haggard anymore
Even though you're on my fighting' side

[Chorus:]
And I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standing' in the rain
But you don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even called me by my name

Well, I've heard my name
A few times in your phone book (hello, hello)
And I've seen it on signs where I've played
But the only time I know
I'll hear "David Allan Coe"
Is when Jesus has his final judgment day

[Repeat chorus]

[Recitation:]
Well, a friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song
And he told me it was the perfect country