[*ding dong*]

Christian Bale is at your party, he's alone
Eating all your queso dip, talking on your phone
Uninvited, he just sorta walks into your home
What don't you fucking understand?!

Now Christian Bale is flirting with your unattractive niece
She is named Amanda but he's calling her Patrice
He brought a frozen pizza and he sells it by the piece, he says:
What don't you fucking understand?!

Now he's stabbing at your wife (What don't you fucking understand?!)
With a carrot for a knife (Give me a fucking answer!)
Making fun of your kazoo (Kazoo)
Oh, good for you!

Now he's running naked through the crowd
Everyone can see he's terribly endowed, unabashedly
Someone called the cops and they're coming up the block
Fuck!

Christian Bale is running from policemen on your street
It's such a scene even Uncle Marvin has to tweet
Taze him, but Christian doesn't seem to miss a beat, repeating...
What don't you fuck-

They tackle him, cuff him, now he's under their command
But he's smiling! Almost like he has the upper hand
A flash of light, Christian Bale has vanished into sand
What don't you fucking understand...