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Country Song (Pandering) Lyrics - Artist : Bo Burnham
[Spoken:]
Where instead of people actually telling their stories, you just got a bunch of millionaire metrosexuals that have never done a hard day's work in their lives. But they figured out the words and phrases they can use to pander to their audience, and they list the same words and phrases off, sort of Mad-lib style in every song, raking in millions of dollars from actual working class people. You know the words, you know the phrases. Phrases like... A dirt road A cold beer A blue jeans A red pickup A rural noun, simple adjective No shoes No shirt No Jews You didn't hear that Sort of a mental typo I walk and talk like a field hand But the boots I'm wearing cost three grand I write songs about riding tractors From the comfort of a private jet I could sing in Mandarin You'd still know I'm pandering Hunting deer, chasing trout A Bud Light with the logo facing out Hear that subtle mandolin That's textbook pandering I own a private ranch that I rarely use I don't like dirt [Spoken:] One verse, one chorus in the bag Now it's time to talk to the ladies I am hoping my Southern charm offsets all these rape-y vibes I'm putting out Good girl In a straw hat With her arms out in a corn field That is a scarecrow Thought it was a human woman, sorry A cold night A cold beer A cold jeans Strike that last one I'm wanting you I hope you're feeling me Subtextually We go to bed, you doze off So I take your country girl clothes off I put my hands on your body It feels like hay, It's a fucking scarecrow again Like Mike's Evander-ing Fuck your ears, I'm pandering I write songs for the people who do Jobs in the towns that I'd never move to Legalize gerrymandering Tolerate my pandering You got a beautiful mouth I got a beautiful You dumb motherfuckers want a key change? Thematically meandering Emphatically pandering I got a tight grip on my demo's balls Say the word "truck", they jizz in their overalls You don't know what land you're in I'm in the land of pandering And I'll be upfront I do what I do 'cause I'm a total fucking cunt-ry boy |
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