I do not smoke cigarettes
I told him with conviction
'Cause I've always been asthmatic
And I don't support addiction
He said, "But I always roll my own"
I said, "But I still think that you're a poser"

He said, "I don't sleep in parking lots
I've always been a fighter"
I said "That sounds pretty easy,
When you've got a warm recliner in your parents living room,
When where you are is where they'll pay the rent"

And for all your liberating and the lives you say you're saving
One would think you would be half as full of shit
And for all the rules you're breaking and the precedents you're making
I could do without that breed of anarchist
I could do without that breed of politics
I could do without that breed of hypocrite
I could do much more without the likes of this

He said, "I'll be on that picket line for equality,
But I hope everyone looks like me,
And does not treat me differently"
I said, "Goddamn, you hypocrite!"
He said, "I do not take that name so lightly"

I said, "I don't sleep in parking lots,
I've always been resistant"
He said, "That sounds pretty easy,
Would you just shut up and kiss me?"
I said, "Aw man, you're no feminist"
He said, "I do not use that word so slightly"

And for all your liberating and the lives you say you're saving
One would think you would be half as full of shit
And for all the rules you're breaking and the progress that you're making
I could do without that breed of anarchist
Oh, I could do without that breed of politics
Oh, I could do without that breed of hypocrite
Oh, I could do much more without the likes of this
Oh!