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We're Havin' A Baby Lyrics - Artist : Ray Stevens
When we were having our first baby
The wife said to me, "Maybe We should have this child the natural way (The natural way) Without drugs or medication But in peaceful meditation We'll start this child out on its merry way" So we enrolled into a school and learned to breathe both out and in Then proudly told our family and our friends We're having a baby (Baby) the natural way We're having a baby (Baby), we're happy to say This child will enter into life in sweet tranquility The way the old folks did it all down through history Queens and peasants have both done it, so just how hard can it be? We're having a baby (Baby) the natural way (The natural way) Our reluctant obstetrician Made just one one condition We could have the child naturally, but in a delivery room So we kept breathing and rehearsing 'Til the day came for the birthing Then my wife said sweetly, "Let's go, dear, the baby's coming soon" So I grabbed our bags and drove her there and got her all checked in But neither one of us was ready for all that happened then She started having that baby (Baby) the natural way She started having the baby (Baby) and I'm sorry to say Well, there was yelling, screaming, bleeding And the cursing of my name We forgot how to breathe when the labor really came Then she yelled, "Nobody told me that there'd be this much pain! I'm not having this baby (Baby) the natural way! (The natural way)" I said, "Now, now, honey, pant and puff" She said, "Shut your mouth, I've had enough!" And then from the pit of Hell, there came a primal scream She got me in a tight chokehold Grabbed the doctor by his stethoscope And then a voice from The Exorcist said, "Give me morphine" They gave her a shot, she relaxed her grip and I passed out on the floor The baby came, she did just fine, in fact, we had two more But we didn't have those babies (Babies) the natural way We had those babies (Babies), I'm happy to say In an air-conditioned hospital with every modern aid With syringes filled with the very best painkillers ever made You can bet your life there's one thing that you'll never hear us say "We're having a baby (Baby) the natural way (The natural way)" You know it just ain't natural having a baby the natural way Hey doc, could we have a little more painkiller over here? Thank you I think my wife could use a little too, heh-heh We're not having a baby (Baby) the natural way |
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