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The Day I Tried To Teach Charlene Mackenzie How To Drive Lyrics - Artist : Ray Stevens
Well, now Charlene Mackenzie was a certified beauty
And I thought it was my patriotic duty To teach her things like neckin', yeah And drivin' an automobile Now Charlene Mackenzie, while prettier than most Turned out to be as deaf as a post A condition I was not aware of until She got behind my steerin' wheel I had a '57 Chevy, it was born to run It was a red-hot, fuel-injected son of a gun And when she showered down on that accelerator She just froze when it let out a roar I said, "Don't rev it so much, take your foot off the gas" She thought I said, "Pop the clutch and make it go fast" And she did, and friends, we laid rubber for a block or more And there were chickens on the bumper Yeah, feathers in the grill Rose bushes in the wheel wells And a pig on my windshield Yeah, and the bees were a-buzzin' Where she mowed down their beehive On the day I tried to teach Charlene Mackenzie how to drive (How to drive) I said, "Hold on a second, I wanna talk to you" She thought I said, "Go for second and see what she'll do" And we laid more rubber, she jumped it to a hundred and four Now Clarkdale, Georgia is just a little old town And shoot, I thought I knew my way around But she took me places that day I'd never seen before Through farms and gullies and over hills We uncovered lovers and moonshine stills And broke into a clearing of the annual picnic Of the Georgia Highway Patrol Yeah, we broke up that picnic and everything in it Those officers were on us in a New York minute And I knew somehow I just had to regain control Because now there were lovers on the bumper Picnic baskets in the grill, yeah Wrapped around the fenders Was what was left of a moonshine still There was a wounded patrolman on my windshield Yellin', "You'll get three to five" On the day I tried to teach Charlene Mackenzie how to drive (How to drive) Well, I finally got her just to push in the clutch And we coasted to a stop But she still had her foot on the gas When up walked that wounded highway cop He blew some feathers out of his mouth And before I could stop him, I heard him ask "Ptooey, why don't you quit revvin' it up so much And take your foot off the gas?" Oh no, here we go again And there were chickens on the bumper Yeah, feathers in the grill Rose bushes in the wheel wells And a pig on my windshield And the bees were a-buzzin' Where she mowed down their beehive On the day I tried to teach Charlene Mackenzie how to drive (How to drive) On the day I tried to teach Charlene Ah, Charlene, Charlene, look out How to drive Charlene came to see me in the hospital a few days later And apologized for all the damage she'd done And assured me that everything was gonna be alright now Because her parents had just bought her a brand new hearing aid And it was the finest hearing aid that money could buy And I said, "Well, really, Charlene? What kind is it?" She just looked at her watch and said, "Oh, it's about 9:30" |
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