Kick my shoe off, take my sock off, pull my pant off
Find my pajama and I put it on
Then I crawl into bed and I cry my eye out
Now that my better half is gone

I just lie there and as I lie there my arm feels so empty
And my lip longs to kiss her all night long
If I had the gut I'd blow my brain out
Now that my better half is gone

I was a whole man when I was with her
Now I'm a plier, I'm a scissor
I'm half this and half that, half slow and half fast
Oh, I've got the blue and I'm up to my elbow in heartache
Now that my better half is gone
Now that my better half is gone