Move his stuff, move his stuff
Move his stuff, move his stuff

Staring at the wall, what have I committed to?
A sacred social pact, something you cannot undo
Friendship maintenance and guilt forms a moving crew
If I do not help you move then you won't help me move

You told us all to be here right at noon
Yet you are still packing and Guilty of betrayal #1:
We're working but you have been slacking

Up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs again

You hoard all your useless crap you refuse to donate to Goodwill
And I sacrifice my weekend to wading through your forsaken loot
And we repeatedly ask "What is this? Where's this go? What do you do with this?"
I now descend down the stairs prone all alone in the spider basement

Up and down and up and down and up and down the stairs again
Up and down and up and down I wish that you were not my friend

What is all this pointless shit you kept
Ugly lobster tongs from your Uncle Jeff
Curse your box that's overstuffed
With textbooks you forgot exist

It's moving day! Nothing says "Thanks, buddy"
Like a $5 Little Caesar's Hot and Ready
It's moving day! Nothing gives life meaning
Like doing heavy lifting all day and sneezing
It's moving day! Nothing says commitment
Like the friend with the truck that couldn't make it
It's moving day! I just love getting splinters
Then whacking my shins before smashing my fingers

Move his stuff, move his stuff
There's more stuff, so much stuff

Flinch from that dog that barks every freakin' time you pass by it
And we disagree please tell me how do you move a goddamn plant
Drip on my head now it rains and I'm wet, the boxes are ripping
And spilling all your cables kneeling down, on the ground now my shoes are all squishy

DVI and VGA, S-Video and RCA
USB 1, 2, and 3, mini, micro, A and B
40-pin IDE, a wired mouse from '93
Broken parts you can't replace, ya better keep 'em just in case

Guilty of betrayal #2:
All the restaurants closed and it's too late for food

You disappeared 2 hours ago
Come back and now you smell like reefer

Dude, I'm about to beat you to death with this vacuum cleaner

It's moving day! So glad it's raining
I'm hauling your junk as you stand there complaining
It's moving day! Well, this is a treat!
The sun's gone down and there's nothing to eat!
It's moving day! Betrayal #3
You exaggerated how quick this would be
It's moving day! Havin' so much fun!
It's 1:00 am and we're still not done

Moving a couch
Moving a couch
Oh hold up a second, I'm losing my grip
Moving a couch, moving a couch
Ow, ow! You're crashing my hand
Moving a couch, moving a couch, we're moving a couch
Oh, let's stop for a second

Should we take the legs off?
Should we take the door off?
No no no, just tilt it a little that way
No, my right, not not your right
Tilt it up and twist it like... no

Cool, we put another hole in the wall
Well, kiss that deposit goodbye
Fuck that door, we didn't need it anyway

Break out the chainsaw, gonna cut it in half!
One love seat's now 2 recliners
I'll set all your stuff on fire

Burn it to the ground, burn to the ground
Furniture
Burn it to the ground, burn to the ground
Watch it burn
Burn it to the ground, burn to the ground
Old apartment
Burn it to the ground, burn to the ground
New apartment too

Burn it to the ground, burn to the ground
Burn it to the ground, burn to the ground
Burn it to the ground
Hey! Do you need both of these blenders?
Burn it to the ground, burn to the ground
Cause uh... I really need a blender, I really like smoothies
Saw a sweet recipe online, wanna try it, my blender broke
You have two, doesn't make any sense, so...