Let me have a word with you, you’re sporting kind of man
Captain of the Olympic team, here at Afghanistan
And you don’t wanna go to Moscow - wonderful - let me commend your zeal
But still I hope you won’t lose sight of the pure Olympic ideal
Be a sport Afghanistan, be a sport
Not everyone can be a winner - some fall short
So you might not win a medal
So you feel a little flat
So you lost a little freedom
Hell, we all have days like that
Don’t be a drag Afghanistan, don’t be a drag
We’ll help you sew a couple o’ stitches in your flag
As you march around the stadium to musical strains
Be sure to wave to Lord Killanin and the rest of the brains
For you know they’ll never listen to the clanking of your chains
So be a sport Afghanistan, be a sport
Don’t be rude Afghanistan, now don’t be rude
Politics and the Olympics don’t intrude
The Olympiad is holy
We observe the niceties
We’re above the petty squabbles
You could ask the Taiwanese
Try to smile Afghanistan, try to smile
Show the world a little sportsmanship and style
Just because you’ve been invaded
Is no reason to lose heart
Just because you’re in a war you didn’t want and didn’t start
Still remember that you have the joy of simply taking part
So be a sport Afghanistan, be a sport
The committee’s full of sporting chaps that comes as no surprise
And we’ve already ordered our blazers and some ripping Olympic ties
So it’s too late to call the games off - that would never ever do
And the hopeful eyes of the sporting world - are firmly fixed on you
Rise and shine Afghanistan, rise and shine
Help us whip those other nations into line
They’ll believe you if you tell ‘em
That the boycott isn’t fair
You been running for your lives at home
Hell, why not do it there
Show some class Afghanistan, show some class
Just because the Russians saw some greener grass
Just because you lost some freedom - it’s not sporting to complain
Still you got an invitation and we’re happy to explain
That the Russian’s have agreed that they will take you there by train
So be a sport Afghanistan, be a sport
You’ll be runnin’ around Siberia when you run
Be a sport Afghanistan, be a sport