I'd rather go home
And watch pornography alone
I've got a big collection
A really huge selection
And if I'm really desperate
I'll call my ex up
And have sex on the phone
It beats orgasming alone

Porn is good for the soul
But it doesn't leave you feeling very whole
Unless you own a good dildo
But then I bet you think I'm a whore

Sex is a drug
So throw me a bone
It's so innocent
That's why I always go home alone
'Cause I'm feeling ashamed
That I think like a boy
Oh women are meant to act coy
That's why we buy all these toys

Porn is good for the soul
But it doesn't always leave you feeling whole
Unless you own a good dildo
But then I bet you think I'm a whore

I don't care (I don't care...)