|
Jacksfilms Rap Roast (Rap Roasts #5) Lyrics - Artist : Bull, Dan
Ladies and gentlemen
Give it up for Jack Douglass What a lovely chap, goodness Oozes from his pores Like a cup of that bubble stuff But the trouble is It's tough to be too critical On somebody so unbelievably unpolitical It's difficult to diss a cool kid Who still kisses his mom And gives her calls on mother's day Because she raised her little son Into a well mannered And respectable young gentleman That represents the pinnacle Of American parental love You're so disgustingly pure You must be finding it hard To hide all that naughtiness Behind the facade Your time us up, brah 'Cause no one is impervious I peel back your veneer As if I'm skinning furvius You're nervous As I'm digging further deep Into your conscience It isn't hard to get inside a head With such a wide circumference Hat stuck on your skull Are you crying or slicing onions? Companies grease your palms You try to hide the thumbprints I didn't want to bring your head into it It's been done already But then again so has yiay More than mom's spaghetti I thought that KSI had a massive cranium But yours is the reason we need A bigger capacity stadium I'm not even kidding about it I'm serious mate You could rent that fricking thing out As real estate In fact I'll use it as a canvas Now to illustrate The story of a man And how his fantasy realm Would seal his fate You wanted a roast Well then that's something I'm delighted to provide Oh, Jacksfilms, man, you wanted a roast I'll fill your cavity With onion, sage and spice Nice You live a fairy tale existence So no wonder you're called Jack The hat fits And that's a rare coincidence Jack be nimble Jack be quick Jack be sinful Jack be thicc Jack be trying too hard To act as if he isn't a nasty prick Jack O'Lantern Jack and Jill Jack of spades Acting like the master You're the Jack of all trades Jack Horner Jack Sprat? Nah Jack's a prat And that's a fact I'm chopping down his beanstalk With mean talking raps And unlike his films They are action packed With an actual narrative intact Can you imagine that? The cracks never show Never expose your stressful life You're a cross between a livestreamer And a stepford wife You could meet a mugger And then end up best of friends for life And when he stabs you in the back You'll help him twist the knife Who is this guy? Why's he so fricking wholesome? I reckon his alibi Must have a couple of holes in He must have seen John Cena's good deeds And stole some Even his gang sign Is just sticking up his old thumb I just thank God I'm not one of the fam squad I'm squad fam for life, baby Look Check out my bank card Even in a song like this I make my lyrics bang hard Give Toby a call You're breaking that poor man's heart And when you make a punchline Out of saying "Finna woke" Not all the men and womenfolk Will get the inner joke They'll think you're poking fun At people of colour Who speak in different tones and dialects When greeting each other My brother You're Drake in blackface Trouble brewing Look at me Spilling the hot stuff I guess that makes me push your tea I'm a toy maker Putting Jack in a box Yet you're back every Christmas Like a packet of socks Every time I watch you There's this dissonant oddness It's like if idubbbz Switched jobs With Mr Rogers Act two I'm just being honest At you Yiay's just reading comments And lately Since you instigated the adpocalypse You've been popping clips In your AD gun and cocking it I spotted it By redirecting all resentment at Felix You were free to fire up Your ornamental AD Helix At first I thought my firewall connection Badly glitched But after more inspection Jack I saw your dastardly tricks You're conspicuously absent When catastrophe hits Don't want to be that guy But I have to be bich You jump on every trending topic Just to buck the trend Giving rubbish more exposure But it's OK 'Cause it's just pretend But if you smear yourself In doo doo ironically You'll still be smeared in doo doo Dude Do you follow me? Milking the emoji movie Like a Sony Stooge Oh, and Coca-Cola telecommunications? That was Sony's too So don't be stupid Don't be fooled No It's all a phony fraud I should call your folks up on the phone And then disclose it all Nobody's so pure Jack It's sickening to see You need to tone it up a bit I hope you're listening to me Because if we're all assholes (We're all just assholes talking to a camera) Talking to a camera Then I'm an asshole Talking to an asshole Through my camera Nothing deceives Like the camera can So I dig up your hidden meanings Through anagrams Jack Douglass Jugs lack soda Adpocalypse peps cola day Pepsi cola Special op I lace pops Yesterday I asked you Teary eyed Soda is yuk John Patrick Douglass Jack uploading shorts Josh Spurt Cola AD king You've been caught! Now just to prove the conspiracy One final anagram Ornamental AD helix Alexander Hamilton Alexander Hamilton Alexander Hamilton What do you drink cola from? Alexander can or tin Any kind of product, Jack is Alexander selling them By spreading ADs virally Alexander Pathogen That's right This gimmick track is Alexander back again You'll be confused If it's something you Alexander haven't seen So let me clear up the Alexander Bafflement The format of this song's just saying Alexander random thing I can do this fast all day Alexander Ramadan Mixing letter up 'cause I'm the Alexander Scrabble Don You couldn't touch the bull with an Alexander Cattle prod I'm elmer and you're bugs Alexander rabbit run I've outfoxed you Call me Alexander basil brush To ten farts? You must be Alexander Flatulent You've been a naughty boy I've got to Alexander smack your bum Oh no He's got the hump Shit Alexander camel dung You can close this window if you've Alexander had enough Just hold "Alt" and press the Alexander tab button Hey, I don't mean it Jack Come back, we're Alexander having fun But come on, man I think that's Alexander battle won |
Other Lyrics
|
Copyright © 2009-2024 |